#17

I check my refrigerator to make sure my cat hasn’t crawled into it while I had my back turned.

#16

I have over 100 cover versions of “Last Christmas” by Wham! and I listen to them year round.

#15

I think there are certain individuals who genuinely dislike me because they can see me for the fraud that I am.  As a result, I have a grudging respect for them. 

#14

I sometimes worry that my inability not to crack a joke in even the most serious situations stems for my having been a stand up comedian in a former life.

#13

I try not to tell my therapist anything too negative.  I don’t want her to think I’m actually mentally ill.

#12

Working with the public drove me to start practicing voodoo.

#11

I’m always afraid I might be pregnant.  Even when it’s physically impossible.

#10

If I have a headache that’s isolated to just one area of my head, I’m certain it must be a tumor and the pain I feel is it getting larger.

#9

Every time I do something dangerous (swerving to avoid a car wreck, shocking myself, etc) and survive it, I secretly fear that I am actually dead and that the afterlife is just a bizarro continuation of real life.

#8

I have to fall asleep with the television on so I don’t have thoughts and worries plague me all night and prevent me from falling asleep.